The Art of Spending Time Alone

I am home alone. All evening. So when I walked in the door from work, I spent the first 15 minutes thinking: I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT! ANYTHING AT ALL! WHAT SHALL I DO?

Things I considered:

1. Write the 5th paragraph of the novel I started 18 months ago.
2. Make the handmade greeting cards I bought the supplies for last summer.
3. Knit.
4. Read.
5. Read, on the pretty screen porch along the back of my house.
6. Read, on the pretty screen porch along the back of my house, with a cold cocktail.
7. Get a good start on that pile of laundry that has been piling for more than two weeks.
8. Read at least one of the seven magazines I subscribe to (and never read).
9. Work on my daughter's high school scrapbook. (Admission: I haven't actually started this, and she graduated last weekend.)
10. Work on the blog I plan to launch next month.
11. Actually write the blog post I was supposed to post today on R-blog.
12. Sit quietly, alone, with my own thoughts and no TV.
13. Watch all the TV I want as late as I want and on exactly the channels I want to watch without discussing it with anyone.
14. Call my husband, who is on the road.
15. Facebook.
16. Work on the four iphoto books I've started and abandoned in the last three years.
17. Call my Mother.
18. Bleach my whites. (Many of them need it. Seriously.)
19. Iron.
20. Surf for the very best girl movie I can find.
21. Go to the movies. Alone.
22. Take the dog for a walk.
23. Take myself for a walk.
24. Look at that book that is going to show me how to "lean into" extreme health.
25. Get a plan for cutting out sugar. Or carbs. Or one entire diet category that takes planning.
26. Clean out the fish tank.
27. Clean out the hermit crab tank.
29. Clean out one of the 36 wardrobe boxes I brought from my Mother's attic when we emptied her house.
30. Tool around Etsy.
31. Organize my jewelry drawer.
32. Catch up on TIVO.
33. Research interesting things to do on vacation in two weeks.
34. Book something interesting to do on vacation in two weeks.
35. Wrap the 14 graduation presents on my kitchen table.
36. Write sweet notes to go with them.
37. Delve into the insurance company's denial of my dental and my daughter's dermatologist claims.
38. Surprise my daughter by cleaning out her closet.
39. Mail the graduation photos.
40. Mail the graduation presents I haven't mailed.
41. Buy the graduation presents I haven't bought.
42. Call Julie about plans for travel on Sunday.
43. Drink a big glass of water. With lemon.
44. Or a cup of hot tea.
45. Finally organize my yarn, patterns and knitting needles.
46. Climb into bed early, and read.
47. Climb into bed early, and sleep.
48. Catch up on that long list of emails I didn't deal with because they required some sort of decision.
49. Watch a movie on the big screen TV in the den, holding the remote myself.
50. Sketch in my sketchbook.
51. Paint with watercolors.
52. Paint with oils.
53. Put away the CDs that are in a pile to the left of the CD player.
54. Organize them.
55. Hootsuite my tweets for the next week.
56. Search for some more bird apps for my Dad's ipad, for Father's Day.
57. Download a journaling app to my ipad.
58. Write in the journal I already have.
59. Meditate.
60. Pray.
61. Make a list of things I could do.

In January

This post first appeared at http://www.riggspartners.com/r-blog

I've long held that January is the only civilized month. With its winter arms and 5 o'clock cloak, January offers an extraordinary opportunity to slow down, curl up, hide away. In fact, I love January because it is the one month in which it is deemed perfectly respectable to do so.

In January, I read. And by that I mean I fall slowly and deeply into wonderful, winding novels that take entire afternoons that stretch into evenings that go right on with me to my cozy you-can-never-have-too-much-down bed. I skate through centuries and across continents and just for a while, take leave of the incessant demands that are my life.

In January, I sit. Our living room is built around a real wood-burning fireplace, and our neighbors know if there is smoke coming from the chimney, Cathy is In Residence.  There is just something about that fireplace, and me. I would rather sit and stare at its flames than watch TV or sit on a beach or play on my iBook. The woodsy smell, the pops and cracks, the constant tending, the red hot embers—I stare like a young lover, mesmerized.

In January, I knit. I know. So 70s. But I love the feel of yarn and the rhythm of the pattern and clickclickclick of the needles. I find deep satisfaction in making something useful. And I rejoice in the creation of something so beautiful, just Right There.

In January, I promise. I tell myself it's within my power to make time to do these things any time of the year; that there's no reason I can't take an entire afternoon IN AUGUST to sit quietly, or read, or create.

And I believe. Until inevitably, February comes, and the pause button releases.

Until then . . .

Think You're Smarter Than A Politician?

The President calls and says, “{YOUR NAME}, you know we’ve had to pump some serious money into the U.S. economy to get it going again. Now I’m turning my attention to managing the rising debt. It’s an unsustainable situation, and we’re going to bring expenses back in line. But I’m not going to Congress for answers. It’s YOUR money, and I want to know what YOU want to fund. More importantly, I want to know what cuts you are willing to make. I’ll meet you Saturday.

We’ll spend six and a half hours working through it together, and at the end of the day, we’re going to walk out of that meeting with some answers.”

As I see it, that’s the concept behind a groundbreaking nonpartisan citizen discussion taking place right here in Columbia Saturday during AmericaSpeaks: Our Budget, Our Economy. Hundreds of people of all ages, races, and political affiliations will gather in a neutral space to explore the issues and weigh tough choices we face in managing the burgeoning federal budget.

Throughout the day, our Columbia group will be connected with town meetings taking place simultaneously across the country via live satellite, webcast, and interactive technology. We’ll study the issues together, exchanging ideas about the things that matter most. At the end of the day, we’ll deliver to political leaders in Washington a clear message about the shared priorities of our large, demographically representative group.

It’s a meeting of passionate and visionary people who realize, as I know you do, that the only way to leave our children a healthy economy is to build a sustainable budget based on values we share, rather than politics that divide us.

Be a part of it. Join us at the Columbia Convention Center, or find a location near you, this Saturday, June 26. Learn more and register.

Why I am passionate about responsible reproductive health policy

I am the mother of a 17-year-old daughter, and I consider myself to be reasonably politically aware. You’d think those two facts would lead to some general knowledge of sexual health legislative issues—particularly those that directly, and profoundly, affect the young women of our state.

But this type of legislative policy was not even on my radar. You see, from the time my daughter showed the slightest interest in learning about it, sexuality has been an open subject in our house. We have talked frankly, and often, about the physical, emotional and intellectual aspects of sex. I guess what was “legislated” seemed of little importance to me.

Then I began to learn about the issue. While researching a writing assignment, I read about thousands of girls in our state who navigate their teen years without a single conversation with their mother—or aunt or grandmother or any responsible female adult—about sex. These young women rely on community clinics, or our public school system, for any medically accurate information they get.

What happens when the curriculum is Abstinence-Only Until Marriage? That is to say, what happens when the state legislates that schools cannot include birth control or safe sex practices as a part of a sex education program?

We know the answer. Studies show teens in abstinence-only, or “promise” programs, have the very same rates of sexual activity as other young people. And they have sex with NO information about birth control or sexually transmitted disease prevention unless a parent, or some other knowledgeable adult, provides it.

No wonder the rate of teen pregnancy is on the rise in South Carolina. (Three in ten girls will become pregnant at least once before the age of 20.) No wonder nearly half of new STIs and STD cases in SC are among young people 15-24. No wonder one in five new HIV cases in our state strikes someone under the age of 25.

I pray that I have taught my teenager enough about the facts to make good, responsible decisions about her own sexual health. And I pray, too, for all those young girls across our state who don’t have a female role model to guide them. I believe each of them deserves a future filled with every option, and every opportunity, available to my daughter.

And so for them, I will be a part of the Tell Them Virtual March on March 23. I want my legislators to know that I, Cathy Monetti of Lexington, House District 87 and Senate District 18, stand with the thousands of South Carolinians who believe age-appropriate, reproductive health education, and access to birth control and counseling services, should be the right of every young woman in South Carolina. Count me in.

Sign up at http://tellthemsc.org/joinus.aspx

Love? Or war?

This chair first belonged to the cat. Then the dog moved in and took it over. Then the dog went on vacation, and the cat moved back to the chair. Then the dog came home and . . .voila.

There must be a lesson here.

So I'm on a long journey home, traveling alone. I have lots of time to reflect. Ponder. Think-it-all-over. And I pull into a fast food joint for a pit stop and D.C. and there, just to the left of my front bumper (and clinging to a light pole in a parking lot) is this incredible creature. I became enraptured for so many reasons.